[l i f e]'s no storybook...
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Tuesday, August 2, 2005
went to the crosby stills and nash conert at the beacon tonight with elizabethh;hahgahdkl;j yay it rocked. it was amazing and we had a snazzy time. we made some new friends on the train, that was...neat. we saw some naked kids.. no joke at all. you may think i'm joking, but i just like to once again that no, i'm not. and he had a very white ass liz would like add. um so yea ya know... concerts, awesomeness, city, subway(both eating and transportation), eat fresh, life, love, peace, happiness, david crosby calling george w. bush a chimpanzee, naked people once again, liz's eyes, people not carding, little indian men, metro cards, and uh thats about it. so um yo.. bye.
Current mood:  mwahahaha life rocks sometimes Current music: ohio- csny
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
12:37AM
i felt the need to write in this thing. i don't really have much to say i guess. i think i take things for granted. if i knew how to put an x through the words "i think", i would. i need to learn how to appreciate what i have. i'm feeling kind of weird and unsure about things. i feel like i've been pushing something away and now that i think it's what i want it isn't there anymore. haha i make no sense. i shouldn't write in this sing when i'm exhausted and confused and have a headache. goodnight and all that jazz.
i really screwed things up, didn't i [i really hope not]? once again...
why am i not suprised...
Current mood:  headache Current music: midnight radio - hedwig and the angry inch...mmm
Friday, July 15, 2005
7:39PM
it seems the world is pairing off, and to be honest.. it partially makes me sick.
"we" this, "we" that. i don't know what "we're" doing later. we we we we. damn is that ever annoying. all my friends are getting that "significant other".. and it's not that i'm sad that i don't have one. i could have one right now if that was what i wanted. but it's not. i -don't- want that. i hate the way it is in the world that you have to find this one other person to love and to base your life off of. why can't everyone just live together without all that crap to complicate things.
most of my "friends" aren't even my friends anymore. everyone's traveling in these two-person-units. and they can't ever be separated. it's pathetic that it amazes me when i actually can have a separate moment with one of them.
i have to admit, sometimes the single life -is- kinda lonely when you're always third wheeling. not that i mind it. i actually have a lot of fun most of the time.. but sometimes it just kinda sucks to see everyone in pairs and you're still wandering around trying to find out which way is the right way for -you-. i guess the answer to my question, "why?".. is just that.. loneliness. people can't handle being alone. they need that safe feeling of knowing they always have that one person even when all others aren't there. suddenly the once best friends seem microscopic in the big picture because this one person has guarenteed that they will be there over all others. so that in case of failure.. there is one thing that is guarenteed. but the truth is, there are no guarentees in life... and in the end the one thats really needed is the best friend.. as we find out when the fairytale ends and hours are being spent every night talking to those who once seemed so microscopic. is it worth it being locked away in a cardboard box, only to be taken out when needed? all of a sudden people assume that they can summon you back and that nothing will be changed.. and then they wonder "why the attitude?"... are people really that ignorant?
maybe i've just become bitter and cynical... scratch that... i -have- become bitter and cynical... Ha.. funny how these things happen, huh?
"how i long for the old view..."
Current mood:  confused..thinking too much... Current music: nothing
Monday, June 13, 2005
8:58PM
life can be so surreal
but yes anyways.
sometimes i wish i was anyone other than myself. to quote the breakfast club(probably quite inaccurately) "when i step outside of myslef and look in at myself from the outside, i don't like what i see"... something along the lines of that.
in other news, i just got back glorious pictures. absolutely glorious.
Current music: the postal service
Saturday, June 4, 2005
11:55PM
yea i feel the urge for this thing. i've been so frustrated lately. i feel like people are constantly wanting things from me that i can't give them. and it's nothing against them, it's just that -i- can't. this weekend has been up and down. my birthday was thursday.. it was really fun. i think i wrote then but i can't remember. friday i went to chris's after school which was fun. then i hung out with danielle jj and liz and some kid. it was okay. i'm sort of sad i didn't have an actually party for my birthday. "but it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.. it's what i wanted."
i had rehearsal today for 7 hours.. there's so much that still needs to be done it's kinda ridiculous. hopefully we'll somehow pull it all together by saturday. so umm yup. i went out to dinner tonight with my family and christopher came. it was really nice/fun. he came over after and we watched a movie.
the tonys are tomorrow. i'm going to andre's house to party it up... aka me-him-frozen food-and good old fashioned showtunefesting.
i'm feeling kind of blank at the moment. i almost don't want to feel. my mind's been playing tricks on me this past week. i become so frustrated with myself. but i -do- want to feel. i've been really happy lately.. i think it's just these past two days that i've been kinda out of it. maybe it was all because of yesterday. sometimes it just brings me farther down from where i was before.. but that was the first time in a while. i do stupid things sometimes.
i also hate sluts.. and trashy girls.. and manwhores.. and guys/girls who think they can get with anyone they want.. and people that think i'm easy.
on that note.. i'm going to go obsess over the incredibly beautiful music in this show.. if it doesnt win best score they're gonna have me to deal with. (i'm pretty intimidating if you didn't realize already) =D
Current mood:  where did my face go?? Current music: the light in the piazza *dies a little of awe*
Thursday, June 2, 2005
hoorayyy for birthdays!! the big one-six. oh man.. today has been awesome so far. my friends were -so- great. so now i'm just relaxing and such. sooo much hw tonight... effing fascists we call teachers.. i'm not quite sure how giving us homework makes someone a fascist.. but.. well.. tough. all time funniest part of the day-someone i never thought i would speak to again actually had enough of a soul to say happy birthday.. weird. it made me kinda happy though..just to know i'm not hated. so later i'm having takeout with the famsters and then christopher is coming by after work for some birthday cakexcore. p.s. that kid makes damn good cupcakes. the only down side.. i feel soooo sick from all the chocolate. but it was -so- worth it.
ummm sooo yay birthdays! 8-)
Current mood:  loved Current music: the next ten minutes - L5Y
Thursday, May 26, 2005
+ Known as: Kristy + Lives in: kah-toe-nah + Birthday: june 2nd (16-one week from today =)!) + School: john jay hs + Religion: raised catholic... but i'm not really sure right now + Height: 5'9"
+ Hair color: brown + Eye color: green/brown/weird... they change
* section 2 have you ever... *
+ Cheated on someone?: no.. well.. not technically + Been Cheated on?: hopefully not + Fallen off the bed?: yes + Broken someones heart?: dont think so + Had your heart broken?: yes + Had a dream come true?: yes + Done something you regret?: unfortunately
+ Cheated on a test?: today lol (i wouldnt have to if mastracchio actually taught this class)
* section 3 currently *
+ Wearing?: pretty new green skirt and black shirt + Listening to?: tick tick boom + Located?: the MOON! + Chatting with?: chris, carmen, liz + Watching?: the computer.... + Should REALLY be ....?: starting my math regents
* section 4 do you... *
+ Brush your teeth?: umm yes? + Have any piercings?: ears + Drive?: =( nope... permit in a week =)
+ Drink?: sometimes 0=) + Smoke?: no comment + have a cell?: yes indeed
* section 5 friends *
+ Who is your best?: a have a few.. you don't need me to remind you who you are + Who do you hate?: why would you hate your friends?... + Who is the most talkative?: dana and christopher + Who laughs the most?: christopher + Who have you known the longest?: umm molly? + Who have you known the shortest?: jess or jaclyn or jj or panda... oh! and les miz people + Do you hang out with the opposite sex?: yes.. i like boys.. girls are lame (except for that select few i like-you rock!) + Who is the weirdest?: oh man... uh... andre or dana
+ Who is the smartest?: kyle... no contest. + Who is the most ghetto?: all of them.. everyone's ghetto in westchester, didn't you hear?
+ Do you trust your friends?: most of them + Are you a good friend?: i hope so + Can you keep a secret?: oh yes i can
* section 6 the last person you... *
+ Hugged?: ummmm danielle? + Kissed?: ahhem.. (clears throat) + IMed?: christopher + Talked on the phone: carmen + Yelled at?: i dont know.. umm.. yea nope. + Hated? not sharinggggg
* section 7 personal *
+ What do you want to be when you grow up?: hopefully something in theatre
+ What has been the best day of your life?: hmm there have been a few.. not going to share + What comes first in your life?: music/theatre/my friends + Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: sort of...not too sure how i feel + What are you most scared of?: being alone + what do you think about before you go to bed at night?: shit..i'm never going to be able to wake up for school in the morning + Did you lose someone you really loved?: yea
+ Lost as in dead?: yea + How many times have you fallen in love?: one
+ Love your family?: yes + Love your friends?: yes i do
* section 8 favorite *
+ Movie: hedwig.. or moulin rouge.. or the breakfast club + Song: ohhh there are too many! + Band: the beatles, csny, pink floyd, the postal service, belle & sebastian.. AHH stop asking me to choose! farEEAKS! + Store: delias + Relative: hmmm adam.. or my aunt rita or jack.. but he's not technically related + Sport: no. hah does dance count? + Ice Cream Flavor: ben and jerry's half baked!!!! + Fruit: raspberries/pineapple + Candy: chocolate + Day of the Week: friday + Time: night + Color: green or royal blue or purple... dammit i suck at this + Name for a Girl: rory (aurora) + Name for a Boy: aiden
* section 9 do you *
+ Like to give hugs?: LOVE + Like to give kisses?: love as well + Like to walk in the rain?: like is an understatement + Prefer black or blue pens?: blue + Sleep on your side, stomach or back?: side/back + Have a goldfish?: RIP winifred + Ever have the falling dream?: i think maybe once
+ Have stuffed animals?: do i ever
* section 10 what do you think about... *
+ Abortion: sometimes.. but i wouldnt do it + Suicide: bad memories + Smoking: can be really lame.. and really bad if it gets out of control.. but quite fun + Summer: i can't wait + Tattoos: depends.. not a lot of them + Piercings: depends which one..ears, lip, bellybutton, sometimes nose or tongue-no eyebrows though.. or that weird cow thing people put in their nose *shudder*
* section 11 this or that *
+ Pierced nose or tongue?: hmmm either one + Single or taken?: me? single + MTV or BET?: ehh not really either.. more BET i guess + 7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: no.. just no. + Sugar or salt?: sugar + Silver or gold?: silver + Chocolate or flowers?: i<3chocolate... but also flowers sometimes + Color or Black-and-white photos?: black and white
+ M&Ms or Skittles?: m&m's + Stay up late or sleep in?: stay up late + Hot or cold?: Hot
+ Mustard or ketchup?: ketchup + Spring or Fall?: spring + Happy or sad?: happy + Wonder or amazement?: amazement + Mexican or Italian food?: italian + Lights on or off?: off + Candy or Soda?: chocolate + Pepsi or Coke? diet coke with lime
Current mood:  okay Current music: louder than words - tick tick boom
Saturday, April 30, 2005
12:09AM
^.^
it's been -way- too long.
i miss this thing.
update on life later.
Current mood:  happy Current music: at the end of the day - les miz
Friday, March 18, 2005
leaving for the cruise in less than 48 hours.. me + chris pesto + the middle of the ocean = one freakin amazing time
i'm out bitchesssssss
p.s. berklee.. time of my life- beantown.. enough said
Current mood:  great Current music: see i'm smiling - the last five years
Monday, March 7, 2005
it's a sad, sad day when i could possibly be bored enough to do this...
bold what you have done
I Have KISSED SOMEONE: on the cheek. on the lips. on their hands or fingers. on their ear. on their eye (lid). someplace not listed. in my room. in their room. of the same sex. of the opposite sex. younger than me. older than me. with jet black hair. with curly hair. with blonde hair and blue eyes with flaming red hair. with straight hair. smaller/shorter than me. bigger/taller than me. with a lipring. who was drunk. who was high. who I had just met. who was homosexual. who I didn't really want to kiss. on a holiday. who was going out with someone else. who was going out with someone close to me. who was my good friend's brother or sister. who had been/is in jail. at the beach. in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water. who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with. with a shaved head. who was/is my good friend. who was/is in a band. who has tattoos. who is of a completely different race than me. in the rain. in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent. with an std. on a boat in a car/taxi/bus. on a plane. at the circus/carnival. with a missing body part. in the movies. eskimo style.
Current mood:  gloomy Current music: natural anthem - the postal service
Saturday, March 5, 2005
hmmm let's see.. i feel like it's been a while. quick update on things... into the woods rehearsal every day-it's gonna be awesome and i'm oh so very excited for it.
yesterday carmen went to cosi with me and chris.. and we even walked over to starbucks and then... dun dun dun borders! so yea it was carmen's first outing with us and we took pictures =). then we went back to my house, ate some sugar free ice cream (not too bad-i mean it -was- ben and jerrys) and played monopoly for an hour. after they left i was really sad so i made my mom finish it with me... i beat her by double her money-i was proud.
boston is in a week... i can't wait, it's so exciting. and then a week later is vacation! i'm going a cruise and i couldn't be more excited. and chris's family is going on the same one.. so that should be really fun. oh man so pumped. =) i don't really have any warm clothes... hmm that might be a problem lol.. probably go to target cuz it just opened!! wooot.. um it's morning and i'm delirious.. i have to leave for dreamcoats soon =\. i really enjoyed my two saturdays of freedom without 5 hour rehearsal of DEATH... okay it's not really death.. i lied.. but it -could- be. so um... i'll write later... that is if i live *dramatic voice* ... no? okay... sorry, just had to
oh man... i sound like an asshole.. my entries suck. ohhh well.
p.s. i have a stomach ache
Current mood:  should still be sleeping Current music: bach song from chorale in my head... ahh get it out!
Sunday, February 27, 2005
You Are Ariel!
 Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom. Which Disney Princess Are You?
yay... except i fail at swimming. shhh don't tell!
just woke up.. i want to do something today.. but i don't know what. hmmmmmm i want it to be a good day-and i really want to go on vacation...we definitely need a break from school. and i can't wait for spring! oooo excitement =)
Current mood:  still waking up a little Current music: back in the U.S.S.R. - the beatles
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
irritated... mainly at myself for being moody and bitchy the past few days
Current mood:  irritated Current music: the pros& cons of breathing-f.o.b. (yes, emo music-bite me)
Monday, February 21, 2005
4:53PM
mmm i'm tired. i look really gross right now. i went to laco's last night and slept over. i was all quiet and in a weird mood. i don't really know where it was coming from though. we watched garden state-good movie. and an episode of csi and some of hedwig before we fell asleep. i kicked her ass in mario kart which was fun. we watched alice in wonderland in the morning and attempted to make pancakes-they really sucked. but the bacon was good! and i made mac and cheese. we guitared a little and ipodered a little and just did stuff. um yup. i feel really tired and kinda out of it.. just not all there or something. i really don't want to go to school tomorrow. i can't believe we don't have this week off- we're like the only school that doesn't. its complete bs. for the past two years at this time i would be on a ship in the carribean in the amazing weather. last year was crazy- going to beach/pool during the day and drinking like crazy at night. and two years ago i met all these insanely awesome people.. and we were good kids. it doesnt matter what you do on a cruise you just have so much fun. and the food is amazing. mmm i'm fantasizing. and we might not even go on vacation in march when we have a school break cuz of my dads show thinger. which is good for him but i need a freaking vacation. i'm feeling really ugly right now. and tired. and lame. gross. this moods lasted like 2 days.. and it really sucks =\.
Current mood:  blah Current music: the perfect fit - the dresden dolls
Sunday, February 20, 2005
How You Know You're Obsessed With Theatre . "Q" is not just a letter. . You can't remember what daylight looks like. . You can rhyme any sentence anyone utters with a lyric from Sondheim's "Into the Woods". . You call practices for sporting events "rehearsals." . You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for "intermission", not half-time. . You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than what went smoothly. . You know anything can be fixed with , a sharpie, a safety pin or enough staples. . You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway. . You insist on spelling "theatre" with an "re" not an "er". . Even while sitting in the audience, you call the left side of the stage "right" and the right side of the stage "left". . You'd heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope. . "flat" is a noun. . Instead of saying that you're leaving, you say you're "exiting." . YOU HEAR AT LEAST ONE THING EACH DAY THAT MAKES YOU SPOUT OUT A LINE FROM ANY GIVEN PLAY
haha i love it! =) ... and it's just -so- true.. its kinda sick.
so far this weekend has been pretty awesome. friday after school i was bored and asked danielle and jj to come to the diner with me. it was fun, but i got in trouble for bringing in pizza from pizza station.. i mean i'm sorry if i don't want to pay 7 bucks for gross food when i can have $3 pizza thats awesome! so yup then we called chris and went over to his house for a little. we went to cosi and had smores and i had cheesecake. chris stole a piece of one of my marshmellow so i flung a huge piece of cheese cake at him and he was covered.. and i kinda got some on the wall too. then he started throwing meat at me from his sandwich. it was one big mess of whipped cream, cheese cake, and roast beef in the back of cosi. it was hysterical. we went to borders and i bought a new cd =). then jj drove me and chris back to my house and we fell asleep in my room while watching napoleon dynamite.
yesterday margaret and i went to the city. we took a cab over to washington square park and walked around the village and the nyu campus and such. i bought a cd =) and new incense and some other fun stuff. we went over to st marks place and ran into lauren c and her friends. then we saw danielle, michelle, rosalie, rosalie's bf cooper, and this other girl.. i think her name was jessica. we hung out with them for a little bit so that was fun. (sry if we ruined anything btw). margaret made friends with a "glassware" seller. but yea. then we walked around a little more and i almost bought the best shoes everrrrrrrr! but i didnt because of my issues with spending money lol. so um yup we went back to grand central and ran into lauren again. we bought some food, almost missed our train and had to sit on the floor. we had a picnic on the floor until chappaqua when people finally got off the train. so yea sketch points increased x 10000. which is exciting. =) and i heart brrad aka margaret, she's fun/awesome. (mastrach is gonna feel so left out on tuesday when he realizes we had so much fun without him)
so yea today i'm going to andre's for a little and then i'm sleeping over danielle's. andre and i are playing board games/video games/making lots of food.. so i'm -way- pumped. um so... later.
Current mood:  content Current music: touch - bright eyes
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
my itunes is mean.. i was downloading a song and in the middle my connection was lost so it stopped downloading the song but it still charged me the 99 cents! what jerks...
um so yup. i had vocal jazz rehearsal tonight. it was pretty gangster... jac showed off her mad beatboxing skills and we did some gangster vista/ktown rappin.. it was pretty gosh darn ghetto-core.
i did all my homework!!! i'm such a freaking good person. i still have to study for my math test tomorrow but i went to extra help after school today and i'll just study before i go to bed/on the bus. it's on geometry proofs and they're freaking impossible... so wish me luck =\ i'll need it.
um so i read the most upsetting book and spent a 1/2 hour crying reading the end and another hour lying and watching tv hugging my dad crying. all i can say is be grateful every day for everything and everyone that you have. and even when you think things couldn't get any worse.. they really could. and just be grateful.. be so grateful.
yea so thats basically all i really need/want to say. margaret and heather are burning me some cd's that i've really been wanting.. i'm -way- excited. o o o! and margaret and i are probably going thrifting this weekend.. hopefully to the city-which is really exciting because thrifting is -much- needed at the moment.
hooray thrifting!!
Current mood:  content Current music: from blown speakers... mmhmm good song
Monday, February 14, 2005
well.. valentines day is crappy.. no surprise there. i'm alone.. but hey... is it really all that bad? (yes, kinda) but i'd rather be alone than be with someone when its just not right, ya know. so um yup just sitting here waiting for mr. right to come along.. or waiting to be ready for him... or something. past relationships just havent seemed to have gone my way so it just makes me kinda aprehensive about the whole thing. it's like... i want love -so- bad.. but i'm scared to death to try.. or to get my hopes up. oh boy... who knows what i want anymore, or what i need. i mean my last relationship left me feeling boring and uncool and basically just plain crappy about myself. it was like, i could never be good enough. and since then, whenever something has somewhat started, it just hasnt worked out.. or it just didnt feel right or something. okay enough.
i'm off to go burn carmen her special mix cd (she's my valentine=)... heather too!) then i think it's time for some reality tv-power... ummmm bye now.
Current mood:  okay Current music: tiny vessels - death cab
Sunday, February 13, 2005
4:54PM
i had dreamcoats both yesterday and today... it was -not- fun.. nope sir. i went to see the freshman play last night/made 10 bucks for vocal jazz selling refreshments. and chris and i hung out. fun. um so valentine's day is tomorow..great.
Current mood:  alright Current music: wrapped up in books - belle and sebastian
Saturday, February 12, 2005
well, today after school/rehearsal andre and i took the train into the city, i ate some cheesecake, we ate some food, and saw shockheaded peterrr!!!! it was awesome-coreee x 10... the tiger lillies were rockiiiin and the guy who was i guess you could say the lead/told the story was absolutely phenominal. oh so funny... i still laugh when i think about it. and um yea so i'm definitely going back to see it again since they have $25 thursday late night shows. um yup it was great/hilarious. i'd write more.. but i'm off to go watc hsex and the city con momster. dreamcoats in the morning..blaaah
Current mood:  happyy! Current music: snip snip! - shockheaded peter
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
oh man i'm so pumped for friday. andre and i are seeing shockheaded peter!!! opening night of previews biiitch. um yea it should be hilarious. -so- freaking excited.
we had our first meeting/read and sing through of into the woods yesterday after school. it was fun... i can tell this show is going to be so much fun. especially with such a small cast.. its like a family!(cheese central, i know) so yeah i can't wait. this play is going to consume my life. and i'm going to love it. =). oh boy theatre. woah okay i'm being wayyy dorky right now.
i have noteables tonight. yess can't wait for tostitos and salsa... i swear if there was an award for noteables pig i would win it in a heartbeat. and tomorrow i get to miss pretty much the whole day of school. i only have to go to math, chorale, and chem. we're going on a "field trip" thing to edgemont and singing for chorale/noteables/vocal jazz. so thats pretty rockin. i am going to miss the reading comprehension section of my spanish midterm though =\ so idk when i'll be able to make it up.. well i guess i -could- technically go to spanish for 1/2 hour.. but ehh i just dont think i'm gonna. we'll see we'll see.
speaking of vocal jazz, i handed in my berkley form yesterday and i'm wayy pumped for boston. we're going in only a little over a month. it should be lots of fun.. yay for the marriot and hottubs.. rock!
hmm speaking of handing in forms, i once again forgot to hand in my course selection sheet.. oops. i didn't really get all my teachers to sign it either.. ehh i'm not sure i really like this whole "course selection form" thing. personally, i think it's kind of overrated.. but maybe that's just me. and i just know my guidance counselor is gonna call me down and get on my case for dropping spanish. but i wanna take art. blahh she's kind of annoying sometimes. i mean i guess dropping language isn't the smartest thing to do but i desperately want to take photography senior year so i -have- to take studio art next year. woot to being in freshman art when i'm a junior. yes so um... i'm cool.
hmmm hmmm la dee da. i feel new adventures arising.. hmm hmm hmmmmmm *humming* i don't really know what.. but i can tell it's coming! lol um yup... p.s. i completely forgot to include a happy bday to bob in my last entry! woot for 60th! so err uh happy belated i guess? and now in honor... *sings* we're jammin' i wanna jam it with you we're jammin' jammin' jammin' jammin' and jamdown hope you're jammin' too ya knows how much I have tried the truth cannot hide to keep you satisfiiied true love that now exists is the love i can't resist so jam by my side we're jammin' jammin' jammin' jammin' i wanna jam it with youuuuu we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' we're jammin' hope you like jammin' tooooo
Current mood:  woot Current music: jamming - bob marley
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